I’m 5 and a half weeks shy of my due date for baby girl wally, and I figure this is the PERFECT time to share birth stories of my three boys. I’ll post Caidens today, Lucas’ tomorrow and Kashs on Wednesday, mostly so the details don’t get intertwined writing out three in one day.
I can not believe we are this close to welcoming our fourth (and sadly final) child into this world, We are SO very excited and impatiently waiting to meet our little lovely.
Caiden, oh sweet, sweet, Caiden.
He was born on July 2, 2010. He wasn’t due until October 18, but he was determined to make his appearance early. It was my birthday, and the night before I was so crampy, not period crampy, not contraction crampy, at least not “normal” contraction crampy, come to find out the pain I was in is MY normal for labor and contractions. I honestly thought that I had eaten something bad the night before and just needed to go to the bathroom. It kept waking me up throughout the night but I was only 25 weeks pregnant so I was SURE it wasn’t anything to due with baby. I woke up the next morning and my wonderful mister went to wash my car and get me a birthday card and flowers for my birthday. I was home, alone, and in pain. It wasn’t until I started bleeding on top of my cramping that I was worried something was wrong.
I jumped onto facebook and started messaging mom friends back home to see if I was in labor or what because I just wasn’t sure, and again at only 25 weeks wasn’t concerned really. One of my friends told me that there was no way I’d be facebooking if I was in labor. I went with my gut and gave my mister a call to tell him he probably needed to get home. When I called though, his phone was ringing from inside our apartment. This is when I started to panic. I was worried about our sweet baby, we had already had an EKG scheduled that afternoon to check out his heart which was of concern at my 20 week ultrasound so I was already worried about him for a few weeks, well this was the straw that broke the camels back. I was in tears when the mister came home and told him what was going on. He was SURE I was in labor.
He convinced me that I was having contractions, I am stubborn and was still trying to convince him I certainly was not (but I think I was trying to convince myself I wasn’t) He sped all the way to post, I kept telling him to slow down because I was NOT in labor and NOT having contractions, but I was slowly in more and more pain. We got onto post, and into the hospital, and they lead me to an exam room, told me to pee in a cup, brought me some water and hooked me up to the monitors. This is where I sat for a few hours before I ever saw a nurse or dr again. The nurse on duty came in and checked me out, and this is where we learned that I was already dilated to a 5, with my waters bulging. I panicked, Tyler called my mom and his step mom, my mom left work and started her 13 hour journey to get to Colorado.
The drs gave me medicine to stop my contractions, but within half an hour I was dilated to a 9 and there was just no stopping labor. I was going to have our baby, at 25 weeks, on my birthday. It was now inevitable. They toyed with the idea of putting me in an ambulance to transfer me but then decided it was too risky, they wheeled my bed to a delivery room, where the transfer team was ready to whisk my baby away to the childrens hospital, there were students, there was a trauma team to work on baby if he needed it and there were about 10 nurses, and my husband. I was in a state of shock, scared to death and just prayed our baby would live. I learned that he had a 70% chance of living through the birth, and that the first 24-48 hours were the most crucial and important hours of his life, if he were to make it through labor and birth.
It only took a few pushes for him to come into this world, the dr tried to help me birth him with my water still in tact because it would be less traumatic for him, and a little safer. He was about half way out before my water burst all over everyone in the room (including a full bird colonel, who was not only the dr that delivered him, but the head of the OB department.) It was then that my husband and I heard our tiny 25 weeker attempt to cry. I begged to know if he was okay, alive and breathing, but they put him in the incubator and took him to the nursery. I didn’t even get to see him, or touch him. My husband and I waited and waited it seemed like forever, but probably only 15-20 minutes. We weren’t sure if we had a living baby or if he had passed away. Caiden was born at 12:12 on July 2 weighing 1 lb 15 oz and was 12 inches long
The nurse came in to get me, and Ty, and we went to the nursery, I was terrified I was about to get bad news but we got to see our little bundle of joy, and hold his hand. He was attached to tubes, and wires, and in a box but that was our baby. And he was so perfect and handsome. He didn’t look like a normal newborn. His skin was still pretty red, and he had no fat, but he was ours. He was our baby and we both cried and told him how much we loved him and were rooting for him to be a fighter, we NEEDED him to be a fighter.
The ambulance drivers and NICU team were getting ready to take him from us, across town, to a hospital with a NICU. I begged the EMTs to drive slow and not get into a wreck. I was so scared to let him out of my sight. I was afraid it’d be the last time I saw him.
They transfered him, and I got a call from the NICU that he had made it safely and he was stable, huge huge milestones. I met with lactation consultants and started pumping to get some of my milk to come in so he could have breastmilk, we ate dinner in the hospital and my dr let me go instead of keeping me so we could go to the hospital and see our baby.
This is what we saw when we went to the NICU to see our baby. I hated seeing him with wires, and tubes but was so so happy he was alive. The nurses said that he was one of the healthiest 25 weekers they had ever seen. We spent days in the NICU with him, and resting in the Ronald Mcdonald house room.
Sadly he wasn’t the healthiest for long, just a couple of weeks into his NICU stay he contracted NEC, Necrotising Enterocolitis, I was crushed, my baby was now fighting even harder for his life. Fighting for a chance to live, and I was fighting to hang on to even the smallest ounce of hope that he was going to make it.
They put a small bag in his intestine that was attached to his belly to give his intestines and colon a rest to hopefully heal him, later that evening we learned that it just wasn’t helping. He was getting worse, he ended up with blood transfusions, and morphine and sedatives to keep him as comfortable as possible, and we were given the option to send him in for a very risky surgery (that the dr said he wouldn’t make it through) or he could pass away in our arms, with his mom and dad instead of in an operating room on a cold table with drs and nurses and no family. It was at this point that we had a catholic priest come in and baptize him, we got to hold him, up until this point Ty hadn’t even gotten to hold him, our 18 day old baby was feeling what it felt to be in his daddys arms for the first time. He was sick, bloated, and his fingers were starting to turn blue. The only thing keeping him alive at this point was the ventilator. It was then that we decided it was time to take him off the life support. That keeping him on it was only delaying the inevitable and making him suffer more. At 5:36PM on July 20, 2010 we held our first baby as he passed away. Joining his papaw in heaven.
His life was short, and he never got to sleep in his own bed, in his nursery at home, and I never got to feel him suckling at my breast, or rock him to sleep in the middle of the night. But he was and is our first and oldest son. The boys and soon to be baby girl will always know who their big brother Caiden is, and we take them out to see his grave on the holidays and when the weather is nice. And they know that they have a wonderful angel watching over them when they are scared or sick or sad.
Thankfully the organization Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep captured some wonderful posthumous pictures of our sweet baby, without any tubes and wires. And we got to spend hours and hours with him after he had passed away. Losing a baby is something that will haunt the Wally family for the rest of our lives, until we are reunited with him when we go Home.