I have always had an obsession with the 1950s. Elvis, Johnny Cash, pin up girls, marilyn monroe, I Love Lucy, Leave It To Beaver, you name it, chances are I love it. Instead of dreaming of what I wanted to grow up to be I dreamt of husbands, and children, and dresses and a dreamy little house with a white picket fence with a complete retro kitchen and console black and white tv. I went to college, but never finished my degree, I just didn’t have a desire to work and have a career, I wanted a family and house and husband to care for. I have been criticized for wanting to stay at home with my children and keep house and take care of my husband to the point where I just stopped, I stopped caring, about myself, my house, whether my husbands needs were met or not. It happened around the time I went into labor with Caiden at 25 weeks, he was born, we spent 18 days in the NICU, eating out. Or not eating at all. Laundry didn’t get done, dinner didn’t get cooked, and if we ate at the house the dishes chilled out until we got back to Colorado after Caidens funeral. I became depressed, and people were making me feel bad for wanting to be a housewife, I needed to “have goals” and “find a career”. I attempted to start school a few times, thought about going back to radio, but my heart was just never in it. I longed for a baby to hold and nurse, and sing to sleep at night after a day of keeping house, and welcoming my husband home from work. I went through a pregnancy, put together a nursery and banked on sweet Caiden to come into the world healthy and happy and on time. Once he was born early I just lost all sense of that, I forgot how to live, how to care for my family, and my house. I became lost. I stopped cooking, stopped cleaning, I just didn’t care.
Fast forward almost three years, and a whole lot of fights and almost moving outs later I’m starting to get back to my dreams of being an impeccable housewife and mother, I am starting to get showered and dressed and put make up on every day, I am getting back to wanting to wear dresses and be more ladylike.
I’ve decided that once we move, which is at the end of this week, I will be starting a 50 day ’50s housewife challenge. I will be following the Good Wife’s guide. I will be putting the needs of my husband, and of my children before my own wants and needs. I will follow a routine that will help me get all of my housework and child tending done with plenty of time to freshen up for my hubsterman. I will be greeting him when he walks in from work with a smile and letting him wind down from work for an hour before I bother him with my problems. We will be a family, living life like it would have been lived in the 1950s. I hope that it brings us closer together, and makes life more fluid and happy. I think we’ll learn alot about ourselves. And I’ll be chronicling it daily, or every other day.