Sometimes I go days,even weeks, where I have it all together…today, however, is not one of those days. Not even close.
As I sit here holding a sleeping baby watching the boys play I look around the house and feel like a failure.
There are dishes in the sink, laundry baskets patiently waiting to be folded, diapers in the dryer waiting to be freed. There are crackers and crumbs on the floor from snack and dinner times yesterday. Today I lost my cool and yelled, hard, because the boys were fighting and the baby was getting into things and I felt immensely overwhelmed.
Lucas looked at me with terrible sad eyes and asked me if I still loved him.
Of course I love you, I replied, I will forever love you even if you do things I don’t like.
We shared a giant hug, I gave the boys big bowls of cheerios and I took Ev to get a bath. I needed a reset. Ev could play, I could regroup, the boys were chilling with cereal and a movie.
Sometimes my house looks like a tornado hit and the kids and I only survive the day.
Sometimes we share short tempers and major meltdowns, sometimes we share giggles and snuggles
Some days the TV and tablets don’t get touched, sometimes they’re our saving grace.
Some days, the five of us, with seriously diverse personalities meld together perfectly, living in harmony.
Some days we can’t stand to be around each other.
Today will be a survival day, I’ve spent weeks nurturing sick babies, moving, unpacking and just doing doing doing. Today I’ll push the baskets of laundry to the side, sweep the floors, and cuddle with my babies, play superheroes and baby dolls. Today I’m not worrying about what someone would think if they showed up, because today is a day to focus on enjoying the time I have with three amazing, smart, beautiful, and loving little humans.
Where there is love, laughter, and joy there is never failure.
Today I will focus on filling our love cups and rejuvenating our souls.