It all started back in 2009, on Facebook of all places. A friends request, unanswered sat in my queue, from a high school crush. Four years later and just seeing his picture on the friends request gave me butterflies. That stinking request was unanswered for a good 4 months, I did not even want to open that envelope, I wanted it to stay closed forever to keep the memories of awkward high school crushes safely put away for no one else to witness. He was in the military, something I didn’t want to have to deal with… deployed, definitely something I didn’t want to have to feel the pain of, but dang it he was just so irresistible. Finally I accepted, and suddenly I found myself completely engulfed with 4am phone calls from Iraq, and going crazy checking messages just to see if we could have a 5 minute conversation. Its not like I was going to deal with the long haul of a deployment romance, just a month or so left until he’d be home, but then like a ton of bricks it hit me… Yeah he’d be in the United States, but he certainly wouldn’t be back in our small home town, he’d be hundreds of miles away and I was NOT into long distance relationships. I just couldn’t stop, I loved the excitement of seeing a message, unread waiting for me, I got butterflies seeing unknown numbers pop up on my phone, I loved waiting for him to be back. It was kind of, scratch that, really freaking romantic. Then he told me he was coming home, and he wanted me to be there when he did. I packed into a car with his dad and stepmom, both of whom I hadn’t met until that trip, and we drove to Texas. I was a giant ball of nerves, heck this man wanted me there to greet him from Iraq but we hadn’t seen each other in person for almost 5 years.
I had quickly fallen in love with my high school crush over a month of texting, phone calls and messages from Iraq, this was it, we were going to be together and things would be great… for three days… Then he had to go back to Army life and we had to get back to Smalltown, USA. I was crushed. We decided to marry, and he came home three weeks later and we had an amazing small, intimate wedding ceremony. A couple weeks later we were blessed with the news that we were going to have a baby- let me tell you we were on the fast track- we packed a few things into the Tahoe and we moved our butts to Texas, only to move to Colorado two months later.
We were so happy, newlyweds, pregnant, then on my birthday our world stopped. I was in labor, at just 25 weeks. Its amazing how fast the labor and delivery wing at the hospital can drop everything when there is a woman in labor at 25 weeks. They tried to stop it, tried to transfer us, but the little guy was ready to see the world. Trauma teams, Doctors, Nicu specialists and a transfer crew, along with a dozen nurses and student nurses got to see our beautiful bundle of joy be brought into this world. I think we all held our breaths for a good couple of minutes waiting to hear if Caiden had made it through the labor or if he was born with angel wings. Then we heard him attempt to cry, and for a 25 weeker that’s an amazing feat. He was transferred to a children’s hospital where he ended up fighting for his life for 18 days. He ended up getting an infection from over feeding in the hospital and the infection very quickly took over his whole body and he couldn’t fight any more. Our first child, only got to spend 18 days knowing the love of his parents.
We were slowly starting to get back to life after losing our sweet Caiden and found out a couple months after returning to Colorado from his burial that we were expecting again. I think I can safely say for the both of us we were TERRIFIED. Thankfully our Doctor was amazing, and 9 months later we had a beautiful baby boy we named Luke. We were starting to feel whole again.
Four months later we ended up with a surprise pregnancy, a lot sooner than we expected but we were happy, Luke was going to be a big brother, after having such a successful 2nd pregnancy we were less afraid and just went with it. Thats when we found out The Mister was formally diagnosed with PTSD and his life as a soldier was over. We started trying to put our heads around it, trying to find out where we were going to live, where we were going to deliver the baby, it was beyond stressful, then at 7 months pregnant we moved back to Smalltown USA. We were happier being close to family, love that our kids will grow up knowing their grandparents and aunts and uncles. It was like the calm before the storm. I went into labor at 33 weeks, talk about reliving a nightmare. I was absolutely terrified. I got my first ever ambulance ride that day, and then ended up admitted in the hospital for two weeks. During that hospital stay we were told we’d need a c-section because of his positioning and due to the fact that he was way too small for his gestational age. Luckily, things changed, he grew and changed positions and we got to go home where I was happily staying miserably pregnant for two more weeks. We had a very healthy, baby boy named Kash.
Now we are a happy family of 5. Our Caiden is still very much a part of our family, so you will never hear us call ourselves a family of 4 and we still talk about Caiden our boys will grow up knowing that they have an older brother. This is the start of a journal of sorts of our family, our adventures and misadventures of parenthood, of marriage, of life, our milestones, our drawbacks, our happy days and our bad days. This is a glimpse into our life,our world, Wally World.